Sunday, 4 March 2012

Dear Diary

I feel like doing a journal entry and since I don't own one I might as well turn MY blog into my diary for the night. I feel zombified. Occasionally I fall into this trance where I can't feel a thing, no emotions run through me, well except when I'm crying for movies :$ (lately that's the only time I cry). I'm not excited about anything and I never want to do anything except sleep. I just want to have those lazy days :( which I can't cause I have alot to do. I thought my life was just empty so I tried to fill the void with all sorts of things, getting my first fashion job, doing a fashion course in addition to my joint honours, attending swimming classes, cooking classes, dancing classes, fashion shows. Sadly at the end of the day, when it's just me and my teddies on my bed, I'm back to my zombified form. Sometimes I'm saved by the red light on my blackberry or a tweet other times I'm forced to face my alone time which sucks. It sucks because I can't access my thoughts, I try to think but it is possible that i may have blanked out my thoughts cause they are depressing. So my mind is a blank canvass, feel free to paint a picture. Right now I just need a miracle, I miss the happy chipmunk on steroids I used to be. I have a lot of therapists, sadly no one is helping me atm maybe the help lies within me or not. I hate my zombified mooods :'(

2 comments:

  1. Life isn't an easy Journey, Bondi, God is your comfort dear :*

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  2. your not zombified love,your still same happy funny bondi i have pictured in my heart :)

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