Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Confessions of a lost girl

I'm the last born, growing up I always had decisions made for me, by my parents or siblings and I sat back and watched them do just that. It was a system I didn't try to mess with because even if I tried to, well my efforts would have been futile. Now I've been handed the baton, given the power to make certain decisions for myself and here I find myself unable to exercise this power. Can you blame me for how easily I get stuck? I didn't have much room to make mistakes and learn from them; I made certain mistakes yes, and I learned from them.

Now here I am, grown and on the road to independence. And I have decisions to make, decisions that would affect me in the near future and in long terms and I'm simply lost. Now when I should know what I want and what I want to do, this is when I'm lost and hoping someone comes to my rescue. Hoping someone writes it out in black and white for me; perhaps a handwriting on the wall. No? I'm a big girl now, I shouldn't have to feel this way. I shouldn't have to feel like I'm drowning. I shouldn't feel scared. I shouldn't still  feel the need to have my hand held as I cross certain hurdles in life, yet that's exactly how I feel. And it sucks. I wish making decisions came easily to me like it does for specific people. Life would be so much easier *sigh*. I feel like this innocent girl who has been picked up from her disney world and thrown into the jungle that is the real world, with flooding lights and blaring horns, people chatting endlessly on phones and to each other, chaos, marching soldiers and there I am caught in the drama of it all; confused.

Nobody said it was easy 
No one ever said it would be this hard....


Love,
B

1 comment:

  1. Hey young one. Don't be afraid to make decisions and make mistakes because if that decision turns into a mistake guess what? it's not the end of the world. ALways pray for the strength and wisdom you need. you'll be fine.

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