Saturday, 20 October 2012

Used To

I used to have a passion,
I used to be driven,
I used to have a dream,
I used to have a future plan

But now I have no passion for anything any more. I'm losing it, I don't know what I want to do with my life :( and sometimes it scares me. Christian Louboutin once said

"The reality is that if you're really passionate about what you do, then it doesn't just start at 9 and stop at 5. It doesn't just stop on a Friday nigh and come back on a Monday morning.

And that's what I want. I don't want a job, I want a hobby, something I love doing doing but the more I think the harder it is for me to point out what it is I like. Am I sad? I'm in my final year and I'm doing a course I don't remember choosing; just coasting along life. This isn't the life I wanted and God forbid I should find myself at a desk, 40 something and rolling my eyes at the idea of another hour at that job.

I wish I could go on an Eat, Pray, Love journey just to discover myself once again. Or maybe I can, after Uni. A year away, trying to discover myself. Sounds like a plan, yes? Who's with me?

Love,
B

2 comments:

  1. My dear Bondi,
    I assure you that you are not alone in this boat. A lot of people are sailing with you.

    See the thing is: if you are no longer passionate about what you used to be passionate about, maybe it is not your passion after all. Maybe you need to go back to the drawing board and ask yourself what exactly made you passionate about this particular thing. I see it like being in a relationship and falling out of love with your significant other, that doesn't mean you'll go ahead and break up with the person. I think that is the part where you dwell on the things that made you fall in love with the person to ignite the fire again.

    Up until my very last day as an undergrad and even my graduation day. I didn't know what the heck I wanted to do, didn't know where my life was headed but I am VERY passionate about what I studied and I know that I'll kick major ass at whatever I'll do. I took time out to search DEEP! And I finally found something I want to do. I have a lot of doubts about it but I'm not letting them get me down.

    Don't feel discouraged. Many people go through this phase in life. Search deep and you will find. I know you very well and I know you'll kick major ass like me :) -that sounded cheesy but whatever. Lol
    Kisses love!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awwwww I wish I knew who you were just to hug you and say a big fat thank you for the encouragement. And I wish I saw this comment sooner as well. I'm going to do just as you have advised. Goodluck love

      Delete