Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Five Stages of Break Up

Hey, I know I've been away for a while, the life of a final year student, I've been mad busy, not that anything new or exciting has happened except well....

Have you ever wondered if perhaps getting over a break up is similar to getting over the death of a loved one? It may not be the same thing in actual sense but you did 'lose' someone special right? So let me know if this applies to you:

Stage 1 Denial
You tell yourself you're happy or you're okay without them, LIE. Or you try to pretend that you can still be friends, especially if you really loved that person. Who you foolin? How do you think you're going to cope when the other moves on and is happy? Still think you can be friends with them? Don't cheat yourself. Or you go numb, I know I go numb, for a period I feel nothing, absolutely nothing. I call it my 'walking zombie' phase. A wise man once said "There is grace in denial. It's nature's way of letting in only as much as we can handle"

Stage 2 Anger
"All Men Are The Same" "I'm Through With Love" "Life Sucks" Sounds familiar? Now you're angry for no reason. Or perhaps you know the reason but you're trying to avoid confronting it. So you walk around being angry at the world or yourself cause you didn't try hard enough or because you even gave them a chance in the first place. Now the curse words just roll out your tongue and you find yourself telling the cutest puppy to get the fuck outta your face for no apparent reason. It's good to let the steam out, just don't say anything you would regret in this phase. Once I wrote the meanest angriest letter to an ex and tore it up after wards and I felt good. Another time I signed up for boxing classes -__- Different people different methods *shrug*

Stage 3 Bargaining
Now the "if only's" come to visit. The whole damn family, ma, pa and kids. You find yourself "if only I hadn't said that to her" "If only I tried to be sexy once in a while". Perhaps if we had done things differently it would be a different story? Yes? or God why me? Why do I always have to be the one getting hurt? I promise not to drink anymore if you just give me another faithful boyfriend. Alright I hear you. I hate this phase because then you begin to doubt yourself and there's nothing worse than a person with a low self confidence.

Stage 4 Depression
That's it! I'm gonna be lonely forever. Forever Alone; status changed, twitter bio changed. I'm going to die an old wrinkled woman. Then you find comfort in a tub of Magnum Vanilla and Chocolate Ice cream. *Sigh* Listening to depressing songs about love, hello Adele. Staring out the window, trying to imagine your life is a movie scene. You want to be left alone, don't want any company. Your RayBans become your bestfriend to cover up the multitude of sin that is your bulging red eyes. This phase sucks, feels like the world is going to end. I hate it. My blog started at this phase, not ashamed to admit it. After a bad break up this was where I came to pour out my sadness. It is an ugly phase but everyone's got to go through with it. Perhaps in your hurting you would find healing...

Stage 5 Acceptance
For some it takes weeks to get to this phase, for some it happens right from the break up. Everyone's got their way of dealing. But someday you've gotta accept it's over, toughen up, shit happens. I hate friends who try to get you straight to stage 5 and skipping the other stages. Excuse me, I'm not made of stone, I genuinely liked him can I atleast grieve him a little? ugh. Anyways at some point you learn to accept that he cheated or your love wasn't enough or it was simply not meant to be. Or a reality slap in the face such as seeing the other one moving on. However long it takes, you get to move on because regardless life goes on.

Like I said different people, different methods. You might start from stage 3 or no stage at all. A break up is hard but I believe most people go through at least 3 stages to finally move on life. Well my library break is over. Something to think about xoxo

I DO NOT BELIEVE IN REBOUNDS. That's just denying yourself of emotions but that's just me. 


  1. Smart. I would have never thought of it that way. It was also a bit funny in some parts. You're a brilliant writer.

    1. Thank you so much Helen. Really appreciate it

  2. Great stuff you've got here. Can I have your email address please? Wanna Share something important with you.

    - Obie

  3. LOL This is probably me right now. break ups suck.