Tuesday, 18 June 2013

The Real YOU

Sometimes we find encouragement in the weirdest places. I went on my facebook today and this was the message I got from my 'God wants you to know...' app, it said

                               "It's time to let people see your inner beauty"
It's time to let people know the real you. Be who you are, not who you think people want you to be. You are more beautiful on the inside than you realize, and you need to share that beauty with others. Be transparent, let your guard down, let people see the real you...

The real you, some of us don't even know who that person is anymore. Behind closed doors, when you take off your masks, take off your make up, let your guard down and stare in the mirror, that person is who the world needs you to be. Stop trying to be a copy cat, stop pretending to be what you not. The world does not need soo many Rihanna's nor does it need  any more Bob Marley's. And it definitely doesn't need you to be Marilyn Monroe. That's who they are not who you are. The world doesn't need any more copy cats, it needs the real you because the real you is soo much better than the facade you have up now. And anyone who doesn't like the real you can suck it!

Be You.... Be Real...

Monday, 17 June 2013

A Cold Case Love

The sirens never sounded soo louder nor did the cars still driving that late or early depending on how you saw it. His breathing roared in her ears as she lay in the dark and stared in to pitch black nothing. That was them, that was their future. It was dark and empty and quiet. Not a sound made except for those outside the window. 

And she lay and she thought to herself if anyone out there felt the same as she did. Lying in a cold loveless bed with a man they could not talk to or touch. A man who, though he was physically beside her felt so emotionally distant and stoic. A man who she had once loved and burned with passion for, the same man whose desire for her consumed him and eventually consumed them. They had started the journey both infatuated with each other and there they lay as perfect strangers in the same bed. A wild love gone cold....

Sunday, 16 June 2013

What You See Is What You Get

Who remembers this quote from Computer Science in probably junior school? WYSIWYG pronounced 'wizzywig'. Well today my good friend Sally put up a picture and quote that fit perfectly with this acronym. And it was the church truth so I've decided to share it with you all especially to those who still think they can do the impossible. 

 Story: Today I was speaking to my friend and I wanted to share with her something new I just learnt relating to an issue she was sharing with me.

How I explained It to her: You meet a "fish" ! The fish 🐟 introduces itself as a "Fish" and acts like a "fish". You accept them as a "fish" physically but in your head there is an expectation that the "fish" is a "chicken" 🐔 OR the "fish" is a "chicken" and it is just lying and pretending to be a "fish". You build soooo much expectations (it even becomes so unreal).

Moral: when someone/something  shows you they are good/bad/amazing/sly (whatever the case), accept it and stop "hoping" they would change on your behalf (Who do you think you are? Lol). Please understand the truth of THEM/IT & the truth of YOU

But seriously: Please do not waste your time, on people/things that have really shown you that they mean no good for you.

The quote above is by Maya Angelou

By Salamatu Yusifu ❤

Tuesday, 11 June 2013


You know when you're going through a rough time and everything seems to be going downhill for you. Nothing seems to be moving just right. It's like your whole world is crashing right in front of your eyes and there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop it. You feel helpless, hopeless, like there is nothing to look forward to not even the silver linings... You drag yourself through the day, telling yourself it would be over soon. And when the day eventually ends, you lay in bed staring blankly into space. Everything is quiet, not even the voices in your head have any comment about your situation. So you lay there and you stare and pray quietly to yourself that the gods of sleep grace you with their presence so you can be unconscious to your thoughts, to your pain, to your world. You toss and you turn. Maybe you try to encourage yourself that 'This too shall pass'. And you chant over and over again 'I'm going to be fine', praying that maybe if you say it enough you would believe it too. But till then it's just you staring in blank space. Sometimes you try to hold it in not to cry, other times you let it all out and sob quietly till your river banks run dry and then you sleep.

And when you open your eyes the next day, for a brief moment everything seems alright, till you gain consciousness and remember the events from the night before. Yup, your world is still crashing and nothing seems okay. And suddenly you pang for those brief seconds when you couldn't remember a thing; the numb moment. 

Sunday, 9 June 2013

Quote for the Week

Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could
Some blunders and absurdities have crept in - forget them as soon as you can
Tomorrow is a new day
You shall begin it serenely and
With too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense

Thursday, 6 June 2013

To The Moon and Back

So this post is dedicated to Beau, because sometimes we get carried away and forget to show and tell the people we love just how much they mean to us.

I love that you're a part of my crazy twisted world...
I love that you know the right thing to say to me when I'm panicking...
I love that you're always patient with me even when I'm wrong...
I love that you're not too proud to say you're sorry or apologise first cause we both know how hard that is for me (LOL)...
I love that you believe in me and you always encourage me...
I love how you always tease me and sometimes offend me, teaches me to be less uptight and serious...
I love that you always quietly watch cartoons with me even though you'd rather be playing FIFA...
I love that our fights don't last long...
I also love how you always drive me insane...
I love when you hold me and kiss my forehead when my day has been crappy...
I love that you're my confidant and bestfriend...
I love that I can talk to you about absolutely everything...
And I love that you value my space and give me room to breathe sometimes...
And I love that you love me...
I love you to the moon and back
And I love you cause you're my safe haven...

Wednesday, 5 June 2013

I Love Me More

Ever heard the line; "I love you but I love me more", usually used during a break up, don't you just think "WHAT? You selfish ....." PAUSE

Of course I'm not going to insult people who use that line, I happen to be one of the patronisers of that quote. What does it mean? "I love you but I love me more". Frankly I think the message is written in black and white, it's like KABOOM all in your face, doesn't need deciphering. It's as simple as it gets, I love you, I loved you when things were smooth and I still have love for you but I love myself too damn much to put up with this false facade anymore. I love myself too much to cry my eyes to sleep, I love myself too much to be your punching bag - both emotionally and physically. I love myself too much to keep tiptoeing round you like I'm walking on broken glass. I love myself too much to keep playing female detective with every phone call, text message or tag you get on social networks. Most importantly I love myself too much to settle for anything less than the best.

So the next time you hear this quote remember that the person has assessed the situation/relationship whatever and concluded that it's time to show/get themselves the proper love they deserve, seeing as you wouldn't be living up to the task.  Is it a cliche break up quote? Sure but it's much better than "it's not you it's me"

A Note of Thanks

This very post is dedicated to you, the reader, whoever you may be.

Sometimes I just write without thinking who might be reading it, but it doesn't bother me because I'm writing for me. This is my platform to express myself and it has been for 3 years (in August). I never really thought I'd get a readership and it may not be the biggest one but it's not the quantity that counts. So imagine my surprise when I got a message on Facebook from an old dear friend who told me how proud he was of what I was doing with my blog and went on to add that he's sure the boss (my dad, don't ask) would be just as proud. It was a shocker and it made me happy, to the point of tears. Maybe my dad doesn't read my blog but you do and that makes me happy.

Honestly no parent wants to encourage their kid to be a writer. It's not the best paying career and one could say it's almost dying. It's quite a tough field to break into. No one wants to read anymore. The list could go on. I have really close friends who have probably never opened any of my blog links simply because reading sounds stressful. No one wants to visit public libraries any more to read books (except their finals is two days away), not everyone values a good old book on a warm sunny day because they are way cooler hobbies to indulge in than reading.

So this post is a note of thanks to everyone who reads my blog, who shares my links and those who encourage me to keep writing. Someday I might be a renown writer and win awards, who knows, but I know this for sure, I would never have gotten there if I didn't have you all encouraging me and cheering me on for my next post.

Here's a big fat thank you to the faithful readers and the one timers, I hope I make you all proud and that this blog stays original for you. I might not know you all but I really just want to say thank you.


The Last One

Okay so this is the last post that has to do with my diary. It's an old diary from 2010 and I wrote this down as the opening quote to the journal

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets
So love the people who treat you right
Love the ones who don't just because you can
Believe everything happens for a reason
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands
If it changes your life, let it.
Kiss slowly, forgive quickly. 
God never said life would be easy. 
He just promised it would be worth it."

It was actually a message from my mummy, probably forwarded, not sure she saw the "kiss slowly" part. LOL but anyways, it's a powerful message and I'm happy she sent it to me.


Diary Entry 15th January 2013

Another failed relationship... A new year single again. Me complaining to my friend Sally (Hi hunny, sorry about this) about chivalry being dead and having bad luck with relationships and she start advising me on my Prince Charming. And she said something which was worth writing down

"He's just out there being a better man for you"

Well he better....

Diary Entry 9th December 2012

In a world where almost everyone seems to be struggling with their identity, I think it's good to remember this:

Don't judge yourself by others' standards... Have your own.
And don't get caught up into the trap of changing yourself to fit the world,
The world has to change to fit you.
And if you stick to your principles, values and morals long enough, it will.

                                                                                          - Berry Gordy

Diary Entry 16th November 2012

A quote from Sex and The City by Carrie Bradshaw to Aleksandr Petrovsky

"... I'm looking for love. Real Love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love"

On  a day when I realised that my last relationship was failing and I was settling, I just happened to be watching SATC and this reminded me that I didn't want an OK love, No I want the all consuming love, the love that turns you upside down from the inside out. The kind of love that sets your heart blazing and yet calms you on the roughest of days. The kind of love that Damon described to Elena.

"You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger..."

Diary Entry 17/03/2013

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
Gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually who are you not to be?
You are a child of God

Your playing small does not serve the world
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you
We are all meant to shine as children do

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us
It is not just in some: it is in everyone

And as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
Other people permission to do the same
As we are liberated from our fear
Our presence automatically liberates us
                                -Marianne Williamson
                                (Coach Carter)

Snippets from the inside

If you keep a journal like me, you'd find that it's interesting to read back on what you've filled. Sometimes you find yourself laughing at some of the things you've written or remembering things you almost forgot. I have what I like to call 'Selective Amnesia' (actually a term I once heard on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air) but I tend to not remember a lot of things. Not because I don't want to but when you've had a lot of bad things happen to you in the past, your memory tends to do you a favor and shuts down most of the time so that the voices in your head don't come back to haunt you later.

So it's quite fascinating hearing about my past from a lot of people, it's almost like I'm just hearing it for the first time and I go "really? that happened?". Anyways I have a lot of journals, almost 15, not that I'm counting, I'm just saying. And I hadn't written in the present one for a while, so I picked it up today and started reading back. It's actually amazing what's happened so far this year. Hmmmm.

That's not the point. I came across certain entries I felt were worth sharing, not personal, not at all, I don't think we've gotten there with our relationship. They are mostly quotes I wrote down to encourage me on certain days and I hope they do just that to you too.

Take care Darling xxx

Saturday, 1 June 2013

Once In A Lifetime

It's hard to find someone who would love you no matter what. No matter your short comings, flaws, bad habits. So when you find someone willing to look past all that or put up with your 16 different personalities, you hold on to them and love them with all you've got. Because someone like that may come only once in a lifetime. So you better recognise and you better appreciate before it's too late ❤

Honesty? Overrated?

In every relationship, everyone says honesty is the one characteristic they look for in a partner. But as I grow older I question this belief more and more. 
Are there some truths that should be hidden? Some truths that can't actually set you free? If I had an affair but it ended and I loved my significant other nonetheless, do I still tell 'em and hurt them? Are some truths worth sacrificing in other to save someone? 

Everyone claims to want to know the truth. They want to know where you were last night. Hey want to know your innermost thoughts. They want to know everything. But what if the truth hurts them? Is it possible then that honesty isn't really the best policy?

But then again what if that truth turns into a secret that eats away at you for a long long time?