The F Word

Oh it's a forbidden word, such a dirty word, you dare not utter it. What word comes to your mind? Oh honey it's not that, it's 'feminist'. To be African and utter such a word earns you nasty looks, disgust and disrespect. It is after all another poisonous Western value that Africans should not identify themselves with. I remember when a friend showed me a video by Chimamanda Adichie, "we should all be feminist", and it moved something deep in my core. She spoke of a feminism that sought equality and fairness in the world, not the misguided idea of feminism that portrays women in an angry, masculine way. Not the type of feminism that allows for neither disrespect nor the type who don't wear bras. Not the type of feminism that thinks that we can live in a world without men, because as much as we would like that, we can't. No a feminist should be someone who strives for equality and equal opportunities for genders, male and female. A woman's place is not in the kitchen, you did not create therefore you are in no place to say where she can or cannot live the rest of her life. So of course I have decided to associate myself with the 'F' word because sometime this month, our duly 'elected' Nigerian Senate decided to amend the constitution, changing the minimum age qualification for marriage from 18 to and I quote, "a woman is deemed to be "full of age" when she is married irrespective of the age she did so". Does it not repulse you? Does it not stir up anger in your heart to think that grown up men would use such a vague language in something as important as a girl's future? A language open and prone to abuse, leaving young girls fully exposed to child marriages and abuse.

Should a young girl, 9 years of age be snatched away from the bosom of her mother into a husband's household when she is not yet ready or fully grown up? Should she be forced to abandon her childhood, her education, the life she knows to cater to a man's needs? Suppress her talents and gifts to prepare meals all day, while a baby suckles at her breast, breasts that haven't even bosomed yet? Should she not know the true meaning of life because she has become a caged bird? Should her innocence be taken away from her before she has fully enjoyed it?  Should her life end when it should have only begun? To be thrown into such a huge responsibility one day, when just yesterday her biggest problem was finishing an assignment? Marriage is a blessed union between a man and a woman not a man and an underage girl. She should not be forced if she is not ready. She belongs in the streets dancing and swaying her young hips to the rhythm of the drum. She belongs in a class being shaped into a future doctor, engineer, lawyer or leader of tomorrow. She belongs in her father's home, still growing up and learning. She is a child not a bride so excuse me while I chant it from the highest of mountains, at the loudest of my voice, with every breath and strength in me till the veins in my neck pop and the rage burns in my eyes, CHILD NOT BRIDE! CHILD NOT BRIDE! CHILD NOT BRIDE!

Do not deprive our young girls of their youthfulness, potentials, dreams and aspiration to fulfil greedy and selfish desires. Let our young girls live; she is a child not a bride. Just because it is legal does not mean it is morally right. She is just as important as your daughter or your sister or yourself. Sign the petition to bring this barbaric act to an end and save a little girl's childhood.


  1. Reading through this shows an evident influence of the western world and its allies. Yes,slavery has been abolished but that is only the physical side. But on the flip side,the black man (African) is still a slave to the white men by way of thinking,dressing like them and living in their footsteps. In a nutshell we are just slaves to their emotions. U may want to deny the 'slavery' aspect, but down the core you know it is true. They have taken contol of our mind-set and turned us into blind followers. Among their ultimate weapons is that they have distanced us from the knowledge of our religion,its History,the great men and women that have tremendously helped in it's propagation. They have made look so down at our religion and let their ways be the trending topic of our lives. We prefer to look upto the lincolns,the gagas,the nickis,the perrys or the waynes,kanyes and kardashians to dictate the way we talk,dress and think. They have consumed our time through the salvatore's, harveys,elanas, J.rowlings,the chase,shades, and their likes and have compelled us to forget the lifes of Aisha's, fatima's or Khadija and most of all the life of the greatest role model..Muhammad(SAW).
    The aforementioned are just but the little ways we have been brain washed. Putting all that in consideration,it is just the same with the filthy tags given like 'under age marriage. If I can remember my sciences well, I was thought that the moment a lady starts her menses is just but a sign that she can concieve and then all her sexual glands will turn secretively active.looking at this, how then would prefer a young lady of 12 or 13 that updates her status at night with 'weather for two' or its like to control her desire? Also, this ladies are always amidst a network of notorious boys and men who finds it easy to decieve them to bed. Would prefer them to go around for one night stands or to be mounted by countless number of so-called boyfriends with heartbreaks. Or you rather want her to quench her curiousity by sneaking out of her parents house to clubs or parties twerking her endowed body to any tom dick and harry? Just think of it this way,what if maturity will reach while under their husband's houses...isn't their burning desire going to be quenched amicably. Through this,their desires can never grow wild and turn them into virtual maniacs.
    Am sure you are aware of oprah's story of rape,what do you think led to that? Bodily temptations?. Am sure you know that the so-called "liberal minded USA" has the highest number of daily rapes in the world, do you think that those ladies will be rape if they are married and secured in their husband's houses or they have been covering the tempting part of their bodies and always having a modest dress?? Just so you know, Islam is the most precautious religion and way of life, that is why it permit early marriage and it will forever be the most liberal way of life for both the ladies and gents. I was one told of a village where if a lady is 15 then she due for marriage, so that left no room for illegal babies and unwanted pregnancies. Also islam has never mentioned that a married lady/woman should not chase her acadamic ambition. If you can rightly remember,the first revelation was 'read', and the command does not opt anyone out either man, woman,children are all entitled to the previlage. So please wise up and stop taking side with the western world or you might be mislead at your own peril. May Allah guide us all. Stay blessed!

  2. Intelligently written, Anonymous. We need truly educated minds to think. Islam covers all topics.
    (This is my first time ever commenting on a blog and I might never see this page again but Alhamdulillah I found myself here today)

  3. Just so you know, I started menstruating at eight years of age and scientifically, that's considered a sign of maturity. However, I agree with some parts of this article when you say a girl should not be forced into marriage (no matter how old she is) if she's not ready (or even if she does not like the man for that matter) but you contradict yourself with the next sentence which reads "She belongs in the streets dancing and swaying her young hips to the rhythm of the drum." If she's "old" enough to sway her hips in the streets to strange men, displaying her sexual characteristics to the world and not thinking about being under her father's roof or in class where her classmates are being groomed to be doctors and lawyers, please explain to me why she's not ready to be protected by her husband.Do you know that sexual display in public is how some villagers marry off their children? Even in familiar places such as Ghana and those people are Christians. My point being, religion or not, this is common sense and would eliminate many rape and other atrocities that we face in the western world..and the so called western world we live in is where you have a ten year old pregnant out of wedlock and a thirty something year old talking about they're not ready for babies...messed up world we live in.
    In addition, in all religions, a husband needs to cater to his wife's needs just as much as a wife needs to cater to her husband's is this same western influence that makes us think women are underserving when they have to cook and clean, even 50% of the time.


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