These past days I've found myself under a lot of pressure, not from anyone but myself. I've been asking myself what I want to do with my life, what career path I want to take, what to do after my MA programme, etc. Soo many question floating in my head I almost ran myself mad. And I was the one who got myself there cause no one told me to make a decision now.
I was going over my vision book and talking to my really good friend about my fears for the future. Told her how worried I was that some of our/my friends seem to have it all figured out and I just felt lost. Luckily she felt the same way and she told me to do what I was passionate about. And then I told her I couldn't figure out what I was passionate about, so she told me to do what I like/love the most and keep doing it and I'll end up exactly where I needed to be. That calmed me down but for the time being. Because three hours later I found a worried me pawning over my Vision book and thinking too much about the future. As I wrote down goals I had for myself under different sections, I found that the career section was still blank. I had abstract goals but nothing like "I want to be CEO of So and So" etc. What I did however, was write down the three options I've been toying around with in my head about the career paths I wanted.
Anyhoo, after hours of writing and brainstorming I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and I looked exhausted. Of course that could also be as a result of the 15,000 word assessments I have to hand in at the end of April. But no doubt the worrying added to the exhaustion and then I thought to myself. Wait! I'm just 21. No one expects me to have it all figured out right now. I mean I don't have to know everything and that's ok, no one knows everything. That's the excitement about the future, not knowing. Besides, my 20s are for living my life, making mistakes, learning from them and growing as a person. Why was I in such a hurry to grow up? It doesn't mean I'm going to play through my 20s but I'm constantly going to remind myself to take it easy.
As a result I've decorated my room in post it notes reminding me to breathe, take it easy and live my life one step at a time. Lol.
P.s If you're a 'worrier' like me, the post it notes is a really good idea. Have them everywhere so that on days when you're worrying or drifting you can look up and find an inspiring message. No one would think you're creepy trust me. If they do screw them.