Monday, 28 April 2014


If I had stared any harder I'm sure I would have moved the flower vase on the table with my mind. The silence was killing me and yet I had nothing to say. Neither did he. 

We sat in silence my eyes drifted from the single rose in the vase to the three miserable fish in the aquarium beside us. I was certain at the end of this date I would know everything about a fish just by observation. 

"I know this Indian restaurant we could go to" he had offered.

I didn't object when he asked me on a date. But I also didn't object to his taste. 

It was a quiet restaurant and by quiet I meant we were the only customers in the restaurant. Which made me panic a little. I usually judged how good a restaurant was by the amount of customers in it. And since we were both trying it out for the first time, it couldn't have been a good sign. 

"I would have the chicken Jalfrezi" I told the waiter. 

"It's spicy, just so you know" he told me kindly.

"I know" I replied as a matter of fact. I was from a land of spicy food, how bad could this one be? 

More silence. An awkward feeling. 

"So... How was your day?" He asked again. In an attempt to foster a conversation. 

"Fine" I replied "yours?" I sat with a perfect poise. Any straighter and I could have been a statue. 

"Good" he replied. Our eyes meet briefly before darting across the room again. We were both nervous. Coincidentally we both reach for our glasses and drink. 

Well this is awkward, I'm thinking. I could have been camped in bed watching mindless TV shows. So much for putting yourself out there. 

Finally the food arrives. Saved by the waiter, with nothing to say we start eating.

Halfway through, he speaks again 

"So I told my son there was someone special I wanted him to meet" 

Wait what? He has a son? My mind is half way processing that before I shoot out the next thing from my mouth

"Oh? I didn't know that" I mutter unintelligently 

"Yeah. He thinks we are going to get married. I think you would make a great mum for him"

By now my brain has stopped processing and is trying to reject what the Jalfrezi is doing to my tongue. I'm coughing and choking. It feels like I'm suffocating and my head is spinning with soo many questions. Tears pool in my eyes as I reach for my glass of water and gobble it down with no class. I'm still coughing and hitting my chest now. Damn piece of chicken must have gone down the wrong pipe with that announcement. At this point any trace of being a lady has left my body as I'm sure the last ten seconds just ruined it. 

Damn Indian dishes, why did they have to be spicy? And why did I have to order the spiciest dish on the menu? And who the hell announces something like that on the first date?!

In my head I'm mentally running home. Yup I was done dating. This had officially topped the awkward first date lists. 


  1. LMAOOOOO!!!! Please tell me this did not happen!!! This is waaay up there on WTF dates!!!! Girl, you could write a book someday with all your escapades. good thing you document it on here!!

    Meera at

    1. LOL you have no idea. Maybe I should write a book, seriously considering it now. LOL

  2. OMG. Did this really happen ? :O Wow. Wow. You shoulda replied, "My daughter said the same thing too" lool...