I never fully comprehended the idea behind 'closure', till this weekend. People say they need closure before they can move on and I sit there thinking, well I've been moving on just fine without it. But this past week revealed just how wrong I was.
My recent ex that I could probably say I was madly in love with (Remember Beau from past posts?), well he got back with his ex that he cheated on me with at some point. Did it hurt? Honestly, no. When I discovered what he did, a part of me already knew that maybe it just wasn't meant to be. So I started moving on from that moment even though I really, really liked him. He eventually fessed up that they were back together and I had already made my peace with it. I was actually happy for him, you know. Whatever makes him happy. It's things like this that make me realise just how much of a realist romantic I am.
Then the second guy that I liked after him, well that didn't work out but he wasn't really nice to me when we were together. And he left me with a lot of questions in my head. You know, when someone makes you question a lot of things, especially about yourself. I started thinking the fault was with me. But then I got my 'closure' this weekend from both of them especially Mr Not Nice. It wasn't till that moment that I realised it was closure because I felt this sudden peace over me. And I felt so light. I hadn't realised I had been carrying a burden. So when I walked back home later that evening after having the long talk with Mr Not Nice, I knew it wasn't the air that made me feel good. I knew it was something else, way deeper and it felt good, soo good and since then I've had a glow radiating from within.
I feel calm and at peace with myself. And I never not want to feel this way.
Yeah, this is a diary entry.
|This was taken today, I choose to be Happy <3|