Wednesday, 17 June 2015

Not That Into You

You hold on to my hand a little longer than you should 
A lingering touch that I know shouldn't be there  

You stare harder than you should 
So I avoid your eyes 
Because I know they hold the untold feelings you wish you could tell me 

And I know and maybe you know that I do 
But what I wish you knew is
I don't feel the same way about you 

Tuesday, 16 June 2015

Losing Myself

I want to lose myself in the skies 
Find myself in the sands of a beach
Or rock climbing in the Himalayas

I want to lose myself in a festival 
Dancing in the streets 
In a blend of coloured powder and euphoria

I want to lose myself in a book
And find myself imprinted on each page
In a perfectly written story

I want to lose myself in a song 
And find myself in a perfectly stringed note
The rhythm and the lyrics 

I want to lose myself in you
Find myself in your eyes
See you the way you see me 

I want to lose myself in your touch 
And find that everything I ever wanted
Was always with you 

Friday, 12 June 2015

The Lynn Syndrome

If you watched girlfriends you'll know what I'm on about. I feel like I'm grabbing on to so many things because I'm scared of failing. And right now I feel exhausted all the time because I've got too much that I'm holding on to yet I don't want to let go for fear of going down. 

French School, Project Management, coupled with work. And yet there's a part of me that still wants to do something. Which is why like a junkie, I found myself at the Open University sometime last week contemplating a diploma course in Peace Studies and Conflict Resolution. Yes, I know degrees and certificates isn't all you need in life (won't even count how many I have but in my defence Lynn had 5 Masters) but there's a huge part of me that keeps hoping to find what I want to do with my life in one of these extra courses. I mean, if you don't put yourself out there, how would you know right? At times like this, I envy the people who have it so easy, who already know from the get go what they want to do. And then I wonder how people out there like me cope, coped or are coping. 

Also I'm sorry I have been awol from blogging but I just have a lot on my plate now. I never really have time for myself but I'm hoping to sort that out pretty soon. And advice you have for me would be greatly appreciated. But my 100 days of happiness challenge is going really well. I feel like I'm at a place where my peace can't be stolen. Yes, it might seem like an irony considering my present dilemma but truly, I'm still happy. 


Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Nights Like This

I need you to save me while I'm on the brink
Before I jump into a bottomless pit of depression
On nights like this I need you here
I need your strong arms wrapped around me
Holding me, reassuring me
I need your presence
Even if filled with silence
Because on nights like this
I hate sleeping alone
On nights like this
When the voices in my head seem louder than usual
It's only your voice I want to hear
There's nothing I want more
Than to be in your arms on nights like this