So after my devotions yesterday, while still seated on the floor, all these questions started running through my mind on what to ask J (we'll call him that for now). I mean I know it's still new and all but no one wants to far with someone and realise they wasted their time. Frankly I'm tired of dating, giving my heart out and having to pick up the pieces and hand them back to God to put me back together. I know He's not complaining but it gets old doesn't it? I decided that before things got any further I was gonna make sure I had the answer to all these questions to see if we were compatible; spiritually, emotionally, physically and even financially. It's all part of my doing things differently this year (stop the madness right?)
I put them in no particular order, I just wrote as they came to mind and some, I had to scout for inspiration online as I got stuck at a particular point. At number 76, I began to ask myself why I started it in the first place but thank God I persevered to 101. I thought I would share them here incase anyone found it useful too. So these questions are for the committed, the scouters, the dating, the yet-to-be-engaged... I think all sorts of couples can ask them. Some questions seem silly and others serious but in my opinion, each question reveals the person's character and heart if you pay attention. Plus, what does it hurt to go into a battlefield well prepared? (yup relationships are battlefields, you're constantly fighting hussies, ego, selfishness, etc...)
1. What’s your relationship with God like?
2. How often do you pray?
3. What’s your relationship with your parents like?
4. What’s your parents’ marriage like?
5. How often do you fast?
6. Do you save?
7. Do you tithe?
8. Do you go to church?
9. Do you serve in the house of God? If no, do you intend to?
10. Do you want to get married?
11. How would you resolve conflict with your spouse? (You may give a scenario)
12. Do you want children?
13. How many?
14. Do birthdays and other celebrations mean anything to you?
16. Would you ever fight in front of your children?
17. What’s your take on divorce?
18. What’s your take on joint accounts?
19. How much do you involve family and friends in your relationships?
20. What are you passionate about?
21. What’s your retirement plan?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
23. What was the greatest value you learnt as a child?
24. What values do you want to impart to your children?
25. Are you open to marital counseling if your marriage is going sour?
26. What’s your view on infidelity?
27. What’s your opinion of the perfect spouse (husband/wife)?
28. Do you love travelling?
29. Would you consider an annual family trip?
30. Would you sleep in the same room with your spouse after an argument?
31. How do you unwind?
32. How often would you visit your in-laws?
33. Do you have any medical conditions in your family?
34. Do you believe in joint family devotions?
35. Would you embrace/kiss in front of your children?
36. Where do you want to live?
37. What are your career aspirations?
38. Do you believe in telling your spouse EVERYTHING; 100% full disclosure?
39. Would you like to have any pet?
40. If you were having a bad day, how would you like to be cheered up?
41. Do you believe in shared responsibility in house chores?
42. How did your last relationship end?
43. Have you ever had any sexually transmitted disease?
44. What’s your genotype?
45. How do you cope with stress?
46. How do you deal with anger?
47. What are your bad habits?
48. Are you a jealous person?
49. How do you handle attention from the opposite sex when in a relationship?
50. What kind of parent do you want to be?
51. Are you open to domestic staff?
52. Do you believe in waiting till marriage to have sex?
53. If you had a problem with your significant other’s friend(s), would you tell them?
54. What does love mean to you?
55. What matters to you in a relationship?
56. How do you handle jealousy?
57. Do you mind your S.O having friends of the opposite sex?
58. Do you mind them hanging out with them?
59. What’s your rule on exes?
60. What mistake did your parents make that you do not want to repeat?
61. What’s the most important thing you’ve learnt from your parents’ marriage?
62. Do you exercise?
63. Do you smoke? If yes, would you ever quit?
64. Do you drink? If yes, would you ever quit?
65. Do you use/take any drugs?
66. What are your deal breakers?
67. Do you believe in gender roles?
68. What was the worst thing that ever happened to you?
69. What was the best thing that ever happened to you?
70. What does marriage mean to you?
71. What’s the best way of expressing love to you?
72. What makes you happy?
73. What irritates you?
74. What scares you?
75. How important are looks to you?
76. Do you believe in disciplining your children by spanking?
77. How important is charity work/support to you?
78. Have you ever broken the law?
79. Have you ever been in jail?
80. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
81. Would you consider yourself a morning person?
82. What is your favorite holiday in the year?
83. Have you been married before?
84. Do you have any children?
85. Is saying you’re sorry difficult for you?
86. What could your S.O. do that would break your trust?
87. Do you think you can trust me with money?
88. What are your pet peeves?
89. What is the best way to correct you without offending you?
90. Does snoring bother you?
91. Is there anything about marriage that scares you?
92. What turns you off?
93. What item would you spend the most money on?
94. Have you ever been abusive in a past relationship?
95. Who is your best friend?
96. What don’t you like about me?
97. Is there anything about me you would want to change?
98. Are you attracted to me- emotionally, physically and spiritually?
99. What was the first thing about me that attracted you?
100. What about me do you like the most?
101. Do you see us going long term?