Sunday, 11 September 2016

Emotionally Unavailable


You know that time frame when you've just ended a relationship and need to just be by yourself because you need to gather yourself, well I think that's where I am. That's what happens when you keep giving away so much of yourself, you get left with nothing else and find that you need to be selfish. I decided to correct that and start chapter 24 the right way...

I was talking to one of my best friends last week and she said, 
"you need a break, you don't have any more of yourself to give anymore. It's okay to be selfish, just focus on yourself and being complete on your own. And when the relationship comes, you know you're ready and won't feel pressured into making any decision" (ok so maybe I paraphased, cause I can't remember word for word but that's the jist)

To be honest, it was just what I needed to hear seeing as I was emotionally constipated and didn't know how to sort myself out. Have you ever been here? How did you fare? Carrie Bradshaw said the best relationship you'll ever have is with yourself, 
"The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love you the way that you love, well, that's fabulous" 
And I love hard but I can't right now because I'm emotionally unavailable, closed for business, you get the gist. I'm not rushing into relationships because at 24, people automatically assume that the man you bring around will be the husband and that's not a decision I intend on making half prepared. Like my sister always says
"Forever is a long time to get it wrong"
So I've made the decision to be selfish and be on my own, focus on God and myself. Plus, I'm starting a book club, which I am so excited about but that's a blog post for another day. Can't wait to update on our first discussion date. See you around, here's to me getting back to the things that make me and happy and well, blogging is one of them. 

B
xxx

Ps is it obvious I have a Carrie Bradshaw complex? In my defense I also have a Gabrielle Union and Blake Lively one too. I wasn't kidding when I said I had multiple personalities. Dear Future Husband, be advised. The good part is you'll never be bored, the bad... well you'll just have to wait and see :) 

2 comments:

  1. "Throughout my lifetime, I've left pieces of my heart here and there and now, there's almost not enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent. There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door." - George Jung

    What you said in the beginning reminded me of this. good stuff.

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