Tuesday, 16 January 2018

When Friends Become Strangers

Source: Ravishly

I'm currently reading 'Don't Settle for Safe' by Sarah Jakes Robert, who I'm fangirling so bad. Everytime I get a pop-up notification of a new sermon from her on the podcast app, it's like Christmas morning to me. I just connect so well with her, I can't explain it.

So here I am this evening, nursing a cold (from going running in the morning without dressing properly) and reading the chapter on 'Frienemies' when I stumble on these words that hit home,

"It's imperative to remember that just because someone was with you through a hard time doesn't mean he or she will be with you for a long time. One of the hardest parts of growing up is learning to let people go"
Only one person came to mind as I read those words, so I underlined them and wrote her name beside it. Let me back track a little, friendships mean a lot to me because there was a time when I didn't connect with my family so I turned my friends to my family. Of course because I was putting a lot of unvoiced expectations on them, I tended to get disappointed. I could never separate disney friendships from reality. I was the friend who bought BFF jewellery and mugs, and believe me if the mug broke, I took it as a sign. I was intense like that hahaha. However, in my pruning and stretching season, this was something I got to work on and I'm still working on it.

Back to said friend, we met during my Masters and hit it off. We got along so well she became my new best friend and it was so convenient that we were in the same department in Uni. I bared my soul to her and told her things that I had never told other people. We made the cutest memories that have flooded my iPhoto memory. When we moved back to Nigeria, we remained close till something happened between another friend of ours and I. She took sides and started to give me attitude and that hurt. What hurt more was that the other friend and I made up but she and I never did. Then one day I woke up and realised she had blocked me on every platform. I was shocked and now I partly understand how people feel when they are blocked so I'm cautious with my block option these days LOL. It's been almost two years but I still wonder why. That break-up hurt more than some of my actual relationship break-ups because I valued our friendship so much. She was there with me through one of my hardest break up and through Masters, which was tough for both of us. So when I read those words, she really was the first to come to mind.

In retrospect, I feel like she was there for a season not for a lifetime. I don't harbour any negative emotions towards her and sometimes I do forget about her existence, probably because I mentally blocked her out. However, from time to time, I wonder how she is and why we stopped being friends. It's funny how Abuja is small but I haven't even bumped into her in about two years. What happens when friends become strangers?  

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