Monday, 2 July 2018

Derivatives and Men Talk


Men don't know what they want they want but they don't want you to tell them what they should want or do, in other words nag. So as a woman you need to master the skill of guiding the man to make the decision in your favour without necessarily using your words.

Confused? It doesn't stop there.

I had a Derivatives training today by FMDQ that was doing my head in by the 4th hour. So I was happy when we broke for lunch and I was seated with two of my colleagues, engaging in a light conversation till it took a dark turn once we started talking about relationships, as always! One of my colleagues reiterated a point my mother made to me two years ago. With the seriousness of a heart attack my mother once said to me
"Bondi you can't have only one boyfriend. What happens when you break up? You'll now be sad for a long time. No, you need to have three boyfriends. One that you're serious with, one that you talk to when the first is misbehaving and another that can replace the two at any given time"
She also went on to caution me about long term relationships with no future, giving me a 6 months timeline. And I'm not saying my mother hexed me but none of my relationships have passed 6 months since then. Thanks mum!

I digress, back to our lunch table discussion. My colleagues go on to warn me about putting all my eggs in one basket. One is married so clearly she must know her stuff right? Then she says that you can never really let a man know that you're available to him. In addition, she advised that if I find a good man that I should just die there. However, I shouldn't let him know how into him I am. Yes, I must play some sort of mind game where I'm verbally saying "I'm not ready/available oh". So I shouldn't go to his house and be washing dishes but I should find a way to be around him all the time to mark my territory. I shouldn't nag him about defining our relationship or taking the next step but I should continue being "Unavailably available" (not a word but who cares). I'm sorry but is dating these days this complex? I can't be out here solving algorithms in the name of relationship. And if you find a person this complex, you gotta throw 'em away.

Then later that evening, my friend showed up and guess what was on the menu again, you guessed right; men. She goes to lay a legit complain about how a man had actively pursued her but the minute she showed interest, it was over. So I asked one of my male friends why and he says, "the truth is men don't like things easy". Shooot me! So what you're saying is, when I find a man that I like, I gotta play this game of not being easy so he can stay interested? Look like my friend said that night
"It's 2018, if you find someone don't force it but don't front"
And that's the only advice I'm taking from the whole day.

So what are your thoughts? Have you like my friend shown interest and lost his attention? Should we throw men away?

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